Karol McNutt's
Nia story

When I was young, I was a fun-loving, free-spirited young woman. I loved to laugh and was always up for doing something silly and having fun with my friends. I tried not to take myself too seriously, yet I did have a sense of responsibility…not letting things go too far over the top.

As I got older, life seemed to take its toll on my spirit. My parents divorced, my mother became an alcoholic, my husband was diagnosed with manic depression and my first son was born with a congenital defect inside one of his eyes. The event that pushed things over the top was the birth of my second son, who was two months premature. He was such a sick little baby and was in the neonatal intensive care unit for 11 months after he was born and on oxygen at home until he was three. During the time my son was in the hospital, my husband was working on a project out of state and was only home every three weeks. In addition, I was also raising a very bright and free-spirited three-year-old. The responsibility of all of this became overwhelming. Decisions were literally life and death for our little son for over two years.

My husband’s disease was largely uncontrolled for approximately 20 years. Though there were times of stability, he and his doctors couldn’t seem to find the right cocktail to put him on a regular and steady path. I felt like I was living in a tornado while trying very hard to raise healthy, well-adjusted children. Somewhat by necessity and somewhat for survival, I became extremely focused….on whatever I was doing. Because my life was in such turmoil, I became obsessive about trying to control anything else that I COULD control in order to seemingly balance the chaos. I obsessed about things like having the house clean, ensuring the kids behaved the way I thought they should, perfectionism at work etc. I lost ALL of my free-spiritedness and a lot of my sense of humor. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Over time my husband’s illness came under control and my sons grew to be great young men. However, my free spirit had not returned. I took a job about seven years ago with a company that was in an explosive growth mode. The people were great and the environment was so exciting! I was working harder than I ever worked before but was getting so much out of it. After a few years, the environment significantly changed. I was under constant stress and sometimes felt that I was being asked to do things that compromised my values.

During all this time, I kept physically active with walking, aerobics, strength training, etc. About five years ago I read an article in the newspaper about a new class called NIA at the YMCA near my house. It sounded so interesting! I was especially interested in the mind/body aspect of the class. I cut out the article, but didn’t investigate it right away. When I did, I was told that they weren’t offering the class anymore. About a year later I learned that they were offering the class again and I signed up. Robin Bach was the teacher. At first I felt so awkward…uncoordinated, dense at learning the steps…yet Robin brought such joy and grace to the class that it was infectious! I was under tremendous stress at work, yet at this class I found myself smiling throughout the class and actually having fun! Then and now it’s the only form of exercise where I smile through the whole class. It felt like play! Slowly, slowly I began to feel my spirit again. At first just during the class and over time it filtered through the rest of my life.

I’ve now been doing NIA for four years and primarily take from Robin three days a week at her studio. I sometimes also take a class from Tracy Stamper at a different location. I have learned so much about myself, my body and my spirit through NIA. Robin brings an imagery element that enables me to totally leave my mind and get into my body. There are times when the combination of the music and the movement evokes such emotion that it makes me cry. Though no one will probably ever consider me graceful, my coordination has significantly improved and my body is as strong and healthy as it’s ever been. I’ve wanted to do the White Belt for a long time, but the week-long commitment was a barrier with my work and personal schedules. This year I committed to a friend to do it and am so excited to be taking this next step. NIA has changed my life in so many ways and has become the passion that I sought for many years.