Befriending Joy
by Tracy Stamper
I first met Joy 13 years ago. She was in the first Nia class I ever took. She arrived dressed all in pearls, dancing beautifully and fluidly with a confidence and knowing that seemed to dance within every cell of her body. I caught a glimpse of her and danced with her for the briefest and sweetest of moments. I didn’t yet know her name. Then, several months later when I arrived for my White Belt Training, I was delighted to find Joy there to greet me. She sat with me, inviting and encouraging me to learn and receive her gifts. We spent a blissful week forming a friendship.
Weeks later, I found I needed to call on her. As I sat watching my beloved 4-legged companion slip away, I remembered my trainers saying that Joy would be there for us always. I recalled reading Debbie Rosas’ and Carlos Rosas’ words on Nia’s foundational principle, The Joy of Movement: “This Joy can alter your attitude and response to any experience. This Joy is an energy that can sit right next to or in the middle of sadness or anger. This Joy doesn’t repress negative emotions, it invites them in to learn from them. It respects the truth of what is real for you. It is not just for when things in life are going well. It is an open accepting energy that welcomes whatever comes its way. Joy is a conscious choice. Choose Joy. Sense Joy. If you lose your connection with Joy, let sensation show you the way back.
”Well, things were not going well. As frantic worry and encompassing grief beckoned, I knew this was a test of my relationship with Joy. Was she more than a fair-weather friend? I called on her, and she was immediately there, gently coaching me. She reminded me to tune in and feel the breath moving through my body. So, I felt my belly rise and fall as the cool air moved in and the warm air moved out of my nose. And as I connected to my breath, I noticed a remarkable shift. While I was still worried and deeply sad, I was no longer panicked and diving into an emotional downward spiral. I was sitting with my grief while feeling at home in my body. I felt grounded. This was a new place for me. It was a place of empowerment.
Over the years, Joy and I have deepened our relationship. I have learned and am learning to call on her when I need to, trusting that I can rely on her. She is my trusted companion, mother, anchor, guide, and support. She has been there with me in times of celebration, and has held me in times of sadness. With her I feel strong. She has helped me find my bravery, whether consciously testing it while challenging myself to fly through the air (and through my fear of heights) on a trapeze, or while having it tested for me by a stern Russian judge in the stressful court adoption proceedings of my son. Joy is willing to take every step with me. What a welcomed relief to have her as a companion. Sometimes she settles around me like a warm, cozy blanket. Sometimes I drink her in like a calming sip of peppermint tea. Sometimes she is the steadfast rock I stand on while looking out over a frenzied sea. Always, she is there to remind me to embrace the gift of my body.
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